Metallica Carol of the Bells

Our Christmas Letter

Each year, since we got married, we've mailed out a Christmas letter. Not too many people do that any more. But I do think it is a worthwhile exercise. I like to think of it as a summing up of the year, a look backwards over the peaks and valleys that made this year special, and also a tiny effort to impart verbal cheer in this annus horribilis. Our family like all other families has taken some hits-- the deaths of loved ones, a burglery, and a harrowing economy. But, on balance, life is good for all of us.

I heard an opinion piece on NRP Radio by a Jesuit priest who wished that he received less family-oriented cards and more religious-oriented cards, or, as he put it, less Virgin Islands and more Virgin Mary. Bah humbug. I could only think to myself that this is a man who deserves to not have a family. What kind of a monkish existence must he live to deny himself the joys and sorrows of family life?

Writing such a letter is a long process. We try to keep it to a single page-- no small task when we all live such full lives. One of my children thought the closing sentiments were "cheezy". Perhaps, but life is more than filling the belly and filling the wallet. And the best of life is cheezy, if by that we mean tending to the maudlin. I was at a mall with the family last week for Chinese and there was a strolling quartet dressed in Victorian clothes signing holiday music. Most of it was of the "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" variety-- fun and frothy but with no especially deep sentiments. At one point, they asked for a request, and they took mine: "Silent Night". They sang so movingly-- it was a moment of musical numinous. Perhaps it was the recent death of my mother or perhaps it was the memory of Christmas stretching back over the decades. But I found my eyes for a moment swimming in a heiligenschein of tears-- and I saw others around effected the same way. It's strange how such unexpected emotions can catch you by surprise.

Anyway, here is our letter for this year.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, 2008

Be near me, Lord Jesus
I ask Thee to stay
Close by me forever and love me I pray
Bless all the dear Children in Thy tender care
And fit us for Heaven to live with Thee there.

Dear Family and Friends,

Coping with our parent’s declining health has been one of the biggest challenges in this difficult year. On December 1st, Philip’s Mom, Lucinda, went to Heaven after a long illness. Philip was with his 90 year-old mother in April and also in the remaining days of her life. Dad, who had his 92nd birthday in June, has his own apartment at Calvary Fellowship Homes in Lancaster, Pennsylvania.

Through it all, we have also experienced God’s grace as well as joy in abundance.

Here are some glimpses of those fun moments that will live on in our memory.

In March, we visited Maui in recognition of Nancy’s milestone birthday. The 50th state seemed most appropriate. We enjoyed whale watching from a black sand beach, seeing the giant sea turtles while snorkeling, and marveling at the scenery while we drove the winding Road to Hana. A highlight of our trip was a helicopter ride over the island, where we saw waterfalls, whales, and an aerial view of the volcano.

Our new kitchen is a dream come true and the result of years of saving and planning. Our remodel also included our master bathroom and desert landscaping. It took several months, and we felt fortunate to be able to live in our condo a mile away while contractors were renovating our home.
In October, we took a seven day cruise on the Disney Magic in the Caribbean. Special moments of this trip included enjoying key lime pie in Key West. Nancy had fun driving our family through the sites in Cozumel, Mexico. We all liked the shows and activities on board that made this trip magical. Zach especially enjoyed The Stack, the teenager’s hangout, while Ben liked the beach games at Castaway Cay, Disney’s island.

Philip continues working at Boeing, supporting the Apache helicopter. He likes taking bike rides with Nancy and has fun gardening in the back yard.

Nancy continues to work in the Scottsdale Unified School District. However, she graduated from the classroom into the office as the “ambassador of first impressions” at Cochise Elementary School. It was fun to get together with sisters Kristin and Kara in Las Vegas in July. In December, Nancy traveled to Chicago for a surprise party to celebrate Kara's 40th birthday.

Zach, age 14, is six feet three inches tall—taller than both his parents! As a freshman at Chaparral High School, Zach carries a full load with marching band and honors classes. He is also a soccer referee on Saturdays.

Ben, age 12, enjoys playing with his wave and having fun with his friends. He also likes computer games and being a pen pal with his cousin Liam O’Shea, who lives in Chicago.

During these times, the familiar carol “Away in the Manager” reminds us that God's steadying hand gives us the confidence and the calmness to face the future with faith, hope, and love.

I love Thee, Lord Jesus
Look down from the sky
And stay by my side,
'Til morning is nigh.

We wish you the wonder of a starlit night, the warmth of firelight, and the magic of a Christmas morning. May all that He is fill your hearts with joy this Christmas and always!

Merry Christmas

http://ecard.ashland.edu/2004admission/index.html

Our Christmas Letter

We send out about 60 Christmas cards each year, trying to mail them out no later than the first week of December. I write the first draft and the rest of the family critiques it, making changes that are needed so that everyone is happy . We also include a photo as well, sometimes of all of us but this year only of the boys in front of our home.

The most difficult thing we find is how to cut from the list. It's time to get ruthless, cutting from it the boss who never gave me a raise or the brother to my first roommate. Generally, we send a card to anyone who sent us a card, unless we know that they are too old or sick to have sent us a card. I enjoy the hand-written missives that trickle and then flood in-- the fir-tree green and holly-berry red square envelopes with the snowmen and the Santas. If I hear, sometimes in a round-about way, that they don't like our letters, of course we scratch them from the lists with no regrets It's really the only time in the year where we get real mail, instead of the usual credit card bills, charitable appeals, and grocery ads. I eagerly await the snapshots or posed shots-- the little kids in the look-alike tarten vests and red ties, the spidery handwriting or the photoshopped letter.

Of the sixty of so cards we get, I think perhaps no more than ten contain letters. A card is nice, but it is the minutia of family events that I relish. What's not to like about halfback sons who rushed 2,000 yards for the season, promoted husbands, remodeled kitchens, legs broken skiing, poundcakes baked, and genius babies? I wouldn't call it bragging. I think of it more as a summing up, and op-ed letter on the year, a way to cast your memory back over the events of the last year.

You have nothing to say? Having something to say is overrated. You hate to write? Then write as you would talk. When I was in my early 20s, an aunt I had corresponded with for much of my life developed inoperable cancer. Not exactly knowing how to respond, I sent her a Hallmark card, for which she rebuked me and instead asked me for a real letter, a letter filled with the humdrum of my life. I tried to do that then and ever since I've tried to do the same with our Christmas letter.

So write as you would to a dear friend, perhaps someone you love who has only three months to live. Risk sentiment. Offer hope. Pretend that you only have three months to live. Write what you wish someone would say to you. Don't skimp on the ordinary. In these letters, as in life, it's the details that makes music to our ears.

And, after you've signed it, send me a copy!

Here is this year's Christmas letter:

Dear Family and Friends,

Ten years have come and gone since we left Chicago to move to Scottsdale. So much has happened, and we're grateful for our many blessings. For those of you who live far away, perhaps we can give you a glimpse of what Christmas at our home is like. So welcome. . . and come on in!

Ten years ago, our outside lawn was a lush green and the walls a stucco white. Now you will see the start of a desert-scape and a remodeled exterior with walls that are the color of a malted milk-shake. We began this project in the Spring, with a bulldozer knocking down walls and a construction crew building a slate patio with a built in grill. In our living room, we have our Christmas tree decked in twinkling lights and with ornaments that we've collected over the years and from around the country, each one bringing back a special memory. Facing the bright Arizona sun in the living room's wall is a century-old stained glass window that we used to have in IIllinois. As you walk into our kitchen, you'll smell monkey bread, a breakfast tradition that we enjoy on Christmas day before we open our gifts. And, amid the laughter and the chatter of our family, you'll hear in the background our favorite Christmas carols. Perhaps you'll hear this one:

Here we are as in olden days,

Happy golden days of yore,
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

But, this year, we break our tradition by celebrating Christmas in Florida with some of Nancy's family. It will be fun to see Nancy's sisters Kara and Kristin with her husband John and their four children. Spending Christmas at Disney World will be a treat for us all.

As always, this year has been a mix of the joyous and the sad. We were so sorry to hear of the deaths of Philip's cousins Curtis Wik, who helped host our family reunion last year, and his brother David Wik, Aunt Halley Nicholls, a distant cousin Paul Stahl, and Vern Smith, Zach's social studies teacher. We also remember Uncle Reynold Wik, who died a week before Christmas last year. Philip's mother Lucinda returned to the hospital several times this year for surgery. Age has also caught up with us with its new aches and pains as well as a stream of mailers from AARP-- enough to fuel a holly-jolly Christmas-eve fire.

On a lighter note, we watch with admiration as our boys are growing into young men with strong minds and character. Zach, 13, is now over six feet tall and enjoys working as a soccer referee at Mountain View park each Saturday. He recently was thrilled to buy a cell phone out of his earnings. In May, Zach went to Disneyland to play his trombone with over 100 classmates in the school band while Nancy accompanied as a chaparone. It's hard to believe that Ben was only a year old when we moved to Scottsdale. As a sixth grader in Cocopah Middle School, he enjoys playing the clairnet and likes his pre-algebra class. Ben also likes playing computer games and has fun with his friends on the block and at Mountain View Presbyterian Church.

Nancy's days are busy teaching (and learning from) two years olds at Best Pals and as an office assistant at Cochise Elementary School. In April, Nancy took the boys to Knottsberry Farm in California. "Dear Dad," Ben wrote on a postcard. "How's Kitty? Yesterday, I went on Xcelerator for the first time. I went on it eight times altogether." They also enjoyed Farmer's Market, the NBC Studios, and other interesting sites in southern California. In June, Philip visited his parents in Pennslvania. During that time, Patrick and Ryan, two-thirds of Kristin and John's triplets, stayed with Nancy, Zach, and Ben in Scottsdale, after they visted the O'Sheas in Chicago. They enjoyed downtown Chicago and Great America. A highlight of that trip was a visit to Wrigley Park to watch the Chicago Cubs beat the Milwaukee Brewers 6-5. Nancy also enjoys participating in the annual Scottsdale Culinery Festival, managing the makeover of our home, and bicycling on the greenbelts that wind through golf courses and past lakes where we live.

Philip has started his third year at Boeing helicopter. His favorite things also include bicycling, going to musicals at ASU's Gammage Theatre, and watching the boys play touch football on Del Rubi from our porch-- with Nancy, of course. Philip especially liked visiting his parents in Pennslvania, and walks with Mom and Dad in Alverthorpe Park and Longwood Gardens hold special memories. It was also good to visit his sister and brothers and their families.
Although separated by the miles, this time of the year makes us feel a bit closer to our friends and family. And so our wish for you is that you will have yourself a merry little Christmas and a wonderful New Year!

Through the years
We all will be together
If the Fates allow,
Hang a shining star
Upon the highest bow
And have yourself
A merry little Christmas now