Calvary Fellowship Homes

Mom and Dad




Their New Home

Mom looks as well as I have seen her in the last few months. Here is an excerpt from a letter from Dad, written from the home on May 19th.

Time brings change. This is certainly a significant transition in our lives. I will try to supply a few details of what has happened. You may recall that Lucinda was based at Dresher Hill rehabilitation center for almost a month. Then came the change. This past Friday, Anne and Wayne drove over to Dresher to pick mup Lucinda and the belongings she had there for the drive to Lancaster. It was raining and continued to rain through much of our journey of roughly 80 miles. But the Lord brought us to Calvary Fellowhsip Homes safely.

Lucinda has improved in her ability to feed herself at meals and I would say some progress in communication but still has quite a long way to go if she is to make the next step to assisted living.

We are thankful that God is committed to meet our needs. In the good book we read "having food and raiment, let us be content."

The Fat Lady Sings

It's not over, they say, until the fat lady sings. As Hillary delivers her swan song to observe what everyone else in the world except those living in deep caves realize by now, perhaps we should reflect why Clinton failed to obtain her life's desire.

Is it sexism? I'm sure some of that is part of the problem. But it is a problem that is a drag on the other two candidates. Some people won't vote for McCain because he is too old and other poeple won't vote for Obama because he is too black. As I said earlier on this blog, my feeling that the strongest prejudice today is not sexism or racism, but ageism. So it is McCain who has the disadvantage. Furthermore, there are women who fill high leadership roles without decrying sexism. In my own heavily Republican state of Arizona, our pragmatic governor Janet Napolitano was re-elected by a large margin and is on the short list for consideration as Obama's vice president. (Obama will tap Virginia Senator Jim Webb for the vice presidency my opinion, however.)

Was it her husband Bill? I admire Bill for his centrist vision that gave us a vibrant peacetime economy. However, Hillary could not have run unless she was Bill's wife and unless she would have tolerated for her own political ambitions Bill's depravity. It may well have being that Bill's role during the primary season was a net gain. But for me it was a deal killer. I think Bill's presence will also disqualify Hillary from becoming Obama's vice president as Obama has no need to have another alpha male prowling the White House corridors.

I think Hillary failed because of her character. Her decision to suport the president on the key policy decision on our time was nothing more than pandering to the general eclection electorate. I also think she has trouble with the idea of truth as an overaching ethical and consitutional value. Citizens such as myself don't want parsing and spin, but the simple truth that you would expect in a question you would put to a five year old: "did you or did you not eat that cookie?" Her "under fire" in Kosovo claim as well as the Clintons secretive financial dealings has brought to the surface deep-seated doubts among many people including myself.

But it is not enough to vote against someone and that includes McCain. So why did I vote for Obama and will vote or him in the general election? His resume is thin , his rhetoric is gaseous, and some of his past associations are deplorable. But I find his post-partisan vision compelling. However, the skeptic in me recalls that Bush made the same appeals-- that he would be a uniter, not a divider, that he would transcend partisanship as he did in the Texas legislature. But I think at the end of the day I gravitate to someone most like me in how I look at truth, ethics, and the world. And for me, that is Obama.

A Letter From Australia

My sister passed on this sad but insightful letter from an Australian cousin.

Dear Anne,

Thank you for including us in your conversation regarding your Mum and Dad's situation. I am so glad that you have your own family where you can revert to 'some nornality of life' and the accomplishments and joy of your own children and support from Wayne etc.

You know, because Aunty Cinda has come to visit us from time to time she has chatted with us and there are a couple of things I'd like to mention. I hope they bring some comfort as the resulting pain of the past will always be present for you all.

When our parents become so frail we are confronted by their humanness, we are confronted by their actions which have shaped our lives and we are confronted with ourselves and how we have coped or not coped with the paths our lives have taken, shaped by our parents. a simple example. (It was my mother who chose for me to be a kindergarten teacher and now that she is gone I no longer feel I can carry on with that job even though I have done it very successfully for years.)

I do trust your mother was able to tell each of you, Paul, Phillip, yourself and Tim that she held a very deep grief for sending you off to Boarding school at such young ages. It broke her heart I do believe.

You may ask why then did it happen - I would think possibly because it seemed right at the time within the context of how they chose to serve God.

Down through the years I have felt that you all must have felt so abandoned and always felt so sad for you. Once Aunty Cinda and Uncle Harold moved back to America, Aunty Cinda did all she could in her own way to reclaim that relationship but early childhood relationships can never be reclaimed to that same bond, and so she was very grieved in her soul. If she never told you how deeply she felt, I trust my telling you will help a little. Also our parents came from a generation where various issues were never talked about which has brought it's own grief as well.

Unfortunately the dictates of the interpretation of the religious framework which our parents chose to live by, meant that family was put aside in 'service for God.' Each of you will bear burdens from those early days - and it's easy to put "God" in that same box because in effect he didn't rescue you and change what was happening.

There's a wider view of God though -one of a God/ Christ who walks with us through our pain -My favourite story is Jesus walking on the road to Emaeus -He was not recognized until he was gone. Sometimes we don't see God in these things till we look back and realize in little ways how he was with us. The other thing was that your mother loved each one of you with the depth of love a real mother would love her children and it was because she loved you each one so dearly that it was a terrible burden for her to carry all those years for having sent you away.

I remember her saying about how awful it was to wave you off. Maybe she talked to you about these things -maybe she did not- If she didn't and even if she did. I hope it brings you comfort to know or to be reminded of your mothers great love for each of you.

What a sad a difficult path 'serving God' created for you. Thankfully each of you have your health and in sending you to America rather than Australia you are possibly better set up educationally and financially than if you'd come here to Australia. These are small compensations though for loss and grief.

Anne, I'd better not say more now. I hope this email doesn't make you too sad but rather reminds you that your Mum really loved you despite how it looked when sent off to school so young. You were her only daughter and I remember her saying how absolutely awful it was for her to say goodbye to you as well as to the boys of course.

Feel free to send this to your brothers if you feel it would help but don't if you feel it wouldn't be helpful. It is a time when the past and particularly the past of childhood will emerge in full force.Just remember that Jesus is there to walk beside you each one and carry you along through this sad and challenging time.

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Who To Marry

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? (written by kids )

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you likesports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep thechips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you'restuck with .. -- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER bythen. -- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at thesame kids. -- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids. --Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE D O ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynn , age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually getsthem interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10 ( Martin is wise beyond his years)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess withthat.. - - Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry themand have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -- How ard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someoneto clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -Kelvin, age 8

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?

Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dumptruck. -- Rick, age 10

Catching Up

It is now getting warmer. Temperatures are consistently above 100 degrees, and we are starting to use the pool.

The boys have finished school. Ben ended his year with a 4.0 and Zach with a 3.5/4.0. The both worked hard. We attended the moving up ceremony for Zach from 8th grade to high school. He has a strong desire to be an engineer and to go to a university in the mid-west.

Ben is with two of his friends on a camping trip up north.

I’m looking forward to hearing about Tim’s house hunting efforts. We believe this is the right thing for him, and will provide an exciting new chapter to his life.

My small garden continues to flourish. I have a garden hose that sprays a mist over the tomatoes, herbs, squash, and peppers.

I had my annual physical and also went to the dentist last week. I still struggle with high cholesterol but I’m otherwise OK. No real problems with my teeth, either.

Work is beginning on our kitchen and bathroom. We may be living in hotels and also at our timeshare for the next several weeks, although our mailing address will remain the same. Kitty of course will have to live in the house during the construction process.