Bush Dodges A Shoe

It won't just be at airports when we will have to remove our shoes. At every presidential press conference, the secret service will have everyone take off their shoes and, if that doesn't work, go sun-kissed naked. Ugly journalists need not apply.

This episode is a fitting coda to Bush's foreign adventurism, and it's possible that the shoes that were hurled with such disgust for an instant popped his bubble of denial.

"George, why the long face?"
"I can't stop thinkin' 'bout Iraq, baby."
"You mean the death and destruction and botched reconstruction and faulty intelligence?"
"No, no. I mean that sumbitch that whipped his shoes at me. Why'd he do it, darlin'? Why?"
"Oh, who knows why those people do half the things they do? It's over now. You're back home and you never have to set foot out of the country again."
"Thank God for that. It's scary out there. Those people are savages. They don't appreciate what I done for 'em."
"I know, dear. Very ungracious of them."
"Why do they hate me? What'd I do?"
"Oh, they're just jealous dear. They probably have Air Force One envy."
"Well, I'll tell ya what. I appreciate coming back home, because I know you're always there for me, Condi... Er...uh..."
"What??!!"
"No, no...I meant, uh, Laura! That's you! Laura..."
[Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap! Whap!]
"Damn, baby, how many shoes you got?"
"I got a lot of 'em, pal. I got a LOT of 'em!!! Now hold still and quit movin your head!"

But, in all seriousness, it's clear that security dropped the ball. And one or two one or two well-paid people who should have known better need to be fired.

The president was in a land where terrorists with long memories have no compunction in taking their own life to make a political point. What if that wasn't a shoe but a grenade? There also is a failure of imagination. I'm reminded of Clint Eastwood in his 1993 move In the Line of Fire, in which he played a guilt-ridden secret service agent resolved not to make the same mistakes he made when Kennedy was assassinated early in his career. The assailant put together a plastic gun that passed through the metal detectors. The mundane can become sinister, where a soda straw can morph into a blowgun and party balloons can hold poison gas. Books, pens, cameras, and cell phones can either turn into weapons or mask weapons. Weapons of opportunity include flag poles, furniture, jewelry stick pins, and weapons on other security personnel. Planted weapons are also a threat, such as was used by Michael Corleone in the move The Godfather to kill the corrupt Captain McCluskey. And, given the complacency that we saw by the secret service, perhaps they should memorize this snippet of dialogue from that movie.

Michael: I have to go to the bathroom. Is that all right?
Capt. McCluskey : You gotta go, you gotta go.
Capt. McCluskey : [Michael stands and Sollozzo starts to frisk him] I frisked him, he's clean. Virgil 'The Turk' Sollozzo : Don't take too long. [Michael goes to the bathroom]
Capt. McCluskey : I frisked a thousand young punks.

Even in countries with little freedom, assassinations occur. Both Lenin and Hitler narrowly missed such attempts. While complete security is not realistic, especially in a democracy, the secret service can do a better job about thinking about and preventing the unthinkable. Political leaders also have a responsibility in removing to the extent possible the pre-conditions that foster emotions that can boil into such hatred.