Our Christmas Letter

We send out about 60 Christmas cards each year, trying to mail them out no later than the first week of December. I write the first draft and the rest of the family critiques it, making changes that are needed so that everyone is happy . We also include a photo as well, sometimes of all of us but this year only of the boys in front of our home.

The most difficult thing we find is how to cut from the list. It's time to get ruthless, cutting from it the boss who never gave me a raise or the brother to my first roommate. Generally, we send a card to anyone who sent us a card, unless we know that they are too old or sick to have sent us a card. I enjoy the hand-written missives that trickle and then flood in-- the fir-tree green and holly-berry red square envelopes with the snowmen and the Santas. If I hear, sometimes in a round-about way, that they don't like our letters, of course we scratch them from the lists with no regrets It's really the only time in the year where we get real mail, instead of the usual credit card bills, charitable appeals, and grocery ads. I eagerly await the snapshots or posed shots-- the little kids in the look-alike tarten vests and red ties, the spidery handwriting or the photoshopped letter.

Of the sixty of so cards we get, I think perhaps no more than ten contain letters. A card is nice, but it is the minutia of family events that I relish. What's not to like about halfback sons who rushed 2,000 yards for the season, promoted husbands, remodeled kitchens, legs broken skiing, poundcakes baked, and genius babies? I wouldn't call it bragging. I think of it more as a summing up, and op-ed letter on the year, a way to cast your memory back over the events of the last year.

You have nothing to say? Having something to say is overrated. You hate to write? Then write as you would talk. When I was in my early 20s, an aunt I had corresponded with for much of my life developed inoperable cancer. Not exactly knowing how to respond, I sent her a Hallmark card, for which she rebuked me and instead asked me for a real letter, a letter filled with the humdrum of my life. I tried to do that then and ever since I've tried to do the same with our Christmas letter.

So write as you would to a dear friend, perhaps someone you love who has only three months to live. Risk sentiment. Offer hope. Pretend that you only have three months to live. Write what you wish someone would say to you. Don't skimp on the ordinary. In these letters, as in life, it's the details that makes music to our ears.

And, after you've signed it, send me a copy!

Here is this year's Christmas letter:

Dear Family and Friends,

Ten years have come and gone since we left Chicago to move to Scottsdale. So much has happened, and we're grateful for our many blessings. For those of you who live far away, perhaps we can give you a glimpse of what Christmas at our home is like. So welcome. . . and come on in!

Ten years ago, our outside lawn was a lush green and the walls a stucco white. Now you will see the start of a desert-scape and a remodeled exterior with walls that are the color of a malted milk-shake. We began this project in the Spring, with a bulldozer knocking down walls and a construction crew building a slate patio with a built in grill. In our living room, we have our Christmas tree decked in twinkling lights and with ornaments that we've collected over the years and from around the country, each one bringing back a special memory. Facing the bright Arizona sun in the living room's wall is a century-old stained glass window that we used to have in IIllinois. As you walk into our kitchen, you'll smell monkey bread, a breakfast tradition that we enjoy on Christmas day before we open our gifts. And, amid the laughter and the chatter of our family, you'll hear in the background our favorite Christmas carols. Perhaps you'll hear this one:

Here we are as in olden days,

Happy golden days of yore,
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

But, this year, we break our tradition by celebrating Christmas in Florida with some of Nancy's family. It will be fun to see Nancy's sisters Kara and Kristin with her husband John and their four children. Spending Christmas at Disney World will be a treat for us all.

As always, this year has been a mix of the joyous and the sad. We were so sorry to hear of the deaths of Philip's cousins Curtis Wik, who helped host our family reunion last year, and his brother David Wik, Aunt Halley Nicholls, a distant cousin Paul Stahl, and Vern Smith, Zach's social studies teacher. We also remember Uncle Reynold Wik, who died a week before Christmas last year. Philip's mother Lucinda returned to the hospital several times this year for surgery. Age has also caught up with us with its new aches and pains as well as a stream of mailers from AARP-- enough to fuel a holly-jolly Christmas-eve fire.

On a lighter note, we watch with admiration as our boys are growing into young men with strong minds and character. Zach, 13, is now over six feet tall and enjoys working as a soccer referee at Mountain View park each Saturday. He recently was thrilled to buy a cell phone out of his earnings. In May, Zach went to Disneyland to play his trombone with over 100 classmates in the school band while Nancy accompanied as a chaparone. It's hard to believe that Ben was only a year old when we moved to Scottsdale. As a sixth grader in Cocopah Middle School, he enjoys playing the clairnet and likes his pre-algebra class. Ben also likes playing computer games and has fun with his friends on the block and at Mountain View Presbyterian Church.

Nancy's days are busy teaching (and learning from) two years olds at Best Pals and as an office assistant at Cochise Elementary School. In April, Nancy took the boys to Knottsberry Farm in California. "Dear Dad," Ben wrote on a postcard. "How's Kitty? Yesterday, I went on Xcelerator for the first time. I went on it eight times altogether." They also enjoyed Farmer's Market, the NBC Studios, and other interesting sites in southern California. In June, Philip visited his parents in Pennslvania. During that time, Patrick and Ryan, two-thirds of Kristin and John's triplets, stayed with Nancy, Zach, and Ben in Scottsdale, after they visted the O'Sheas in Chicago. They enjoyed downtown Chicago and Great America. A highlight of that trip was a visit to Wrigley Park to watch the Chicago Cubs beat the Milwaukee Brewers 6-5. Nancy also enjoys participating in the annual Scottsdale Culinery Festival, managing the makeover of our home, and bicycling on the greenbelts that wind through golf courses and past lakes where we live.

Philip has started his third year at Boeing helicopter. His favorite things also include bicycling, going to musicals at ASU's Gammage Theatre, and watching the boys play touch football on Del Rubi from our porch-- with Nancy, of course. Philip especially liked visiting his parents in Pennslvania, and walks with Mom and Dad in Alverthorpe Park and Longwood Gardens hold special memories. It was also good to visit his sister and brothers and their families.
Although separated by the miles, this time of the year makes us feel a bit closer to our friends and family. And so our wish for you is that you will have yourself a merry little Christmas and a wonderful New Year!

Through the years
We all will be together
If the Fates allow,
Hang a shining star
Upon the highest bow
And have yourself
A merry little Christmas now